SELF IMAGE

This blog has been in my spirit for a while now. But everything has its time when it shall produce fruit. Today we live in a society where image and reputation is everything. This can be categorized from the way we look,the house we live in and even the schools we attend. One of the things that I have realized is that this world does NOT care about no one but itself. Growing up as a teenager in a home with love and beauty from my mother and grandmother, I still struggled with my self image.
Now when I looked up the word self image in the Webster's dictionary, it is defined as one's own idea or self perception".Things can be perceived in so many ways. If I were to ask 3 students in a classroom to describe a picture painted by Michelangelo, I would get different adjectives from each student. Would any of them be wrong? NO. Why? Reason is that I asked them to describe to me what they saw, meaning what they perceive cannot be based on my answer. What I am trying to say is that we all perceive things differently.

My mom never gave me the perception that my self image was a problem. She always taught me that how I perceived myself was important. Question then is, why did I feel as though my physical shape was all wrong? I often thought to myself why is it that my friends have longer hair than I do? How come her hips are rounder than my mine or how my cousins were so much taller than I was? This my friends, was how I saw myself. In other words I thought and struggled with the fact that the way I was created was all a mistake. It even got to the point where I would starve myself and attempted to commit suicide so I won't have to worry about my looks anymore.There were other factors that came into play with my self-image. I admired artists such as Brandy, Tamia,Beyonce and Tyra for the physical appearances. The way they all dressed and how men would lust after them always amazed me. So I decided to fix this problem my way.I would have my mom take me to the salon to change my hair-style every 2 weeks, brought me new clothes and even lipsticks. To be honest after all that I still felt something wasn't right with me. That feeling that I had was all because it was not about my physical structure, but all internal. Looking like beyonce and adding weave to my hair was becoming exhausting and costly.

Years later, I came to know someone who would help me see that there was no mistake in the way I looked. JESUS.The scripture that I can first remember and never forget is Genesis 1:27-" So God created man in his own image, in the image of GOD he created Him;male and female he created them". This lead to another question.If God made me in His image then that means that I resemble him in a realm that I can not see. From the various science books of theorists and their opinions and how this world was created, they all concur that God is an awesome artist whose ways is mysterious.
Basically, as I take this time to encourage myself and have a wider view of what I should look like, I want you to sit down and look at yourself in the mirror and point out all those areas you dont like and ask why. While looking you should also realize unless you're a twin (whom by the way has differences), you are A DESIGNER'S ORIGINAL. There was absolutely no mistake in the way you look, how short or tall you are because you are made in the image of GOD. His image is radiant!!!!!!!
So what if I don't have nice hips like Beyonce, long hair like Ashanti or nice house like tyler perry, that's not the image I was meant to have. Friends learn how to wake up daily and love on yourself. TELL yourself daily no one looks like me, I am righteous,loveable,wonderful and I AM A DESIGNER'S ORIGINAL.
WHY? Because its the truth. No matter how much surgery you have, tattoos you add to your body or breast implants you have, YOU have to realize that your image must change inside first so you could be at ease with how you are on the outside. YOU ARE NO MISTAKE!!!!!!!

If you have questions on how to become confident about the way you look and feel as an individual, please email me at lornekajoseph@gmail.com

Strangers in my house

When we get a call from our family and friends that they are coming over, we usually get prepared for their arrival by either cleaning up the house, cooking a meal or even purchase some new furniture so they would be comfortable.But there are times you and I both know where we would have them come over unannounced and we're surprised because they did not give us heads up they were coming over. Even strangers do the same thing. Well, what I have noticed is that not in only in my physical house do I have unannounced guests, but in My body there are some strangers that are residing and did not even ask for permission.

I don't know about you but I like to be called when having guests. Lately I have been so busy and consumed with unnecessary things that I have not realized the way I have been speaking and acting is because strangers- which I recognize as spirits have entered my body, soul and mind that there is an effect. I know that God lives within everyone who knows him personally and nothing can harm them because when a person gives their life over to JESUS, you are covered on every angle. But there comes a time when we open the doors to foreign bacteria. One of my desires is to become a registered pharmacist and I believe that I can do it. But lately I have been entertaining a stranger called FEAR. Right now I don't see the finances to pay for school, so I have allowed the fact that people have told me they have so many loans, even the fact that I don't like loans and also because next year is near and I don't have all I need. So what do you think began to happen? I started to doubt myself at work, ask others how hard is it and question God on if He even wants me to do this?
I know he does and all of a sudden I let the opinions of myself and man alter my dream with their words. Although we write them on paper and type them on a key board, those little things we call letters, put together to make up words,are so powerful that when spoken and thought of create situations for us.

So I sat down after a long day at school and began to re-programme my mind with some truth. What is that truth you ask? That TRUTH is what God said in his word about me. Such as I am the head, not the tail, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and that HE has not given me a spirit of fear, BUT of love and a sound mind. So as I began to speak these things to myself 3 days in a row, guess who got kicked out of my house( body)-FEAR!!! It was no longer welcome and it was time for it to leave and surely it did. Every now and again it tries to sneak through my door, but I dont let it in to stay no more.But I had to breakdown and do some re-structuring of my words and actions for this to occur.

As aforementioned, some stranger(s)came over unannounced. So that was not the only stranger who came along.There was another stranger by the name of LOW SELF ESTEEM. The reason I call them strangers is because when someone comes to know light like I did, all things which are not like CHRIST is an enemy and must go!!!!
Recently I came off of a fast for a week and I wanted for my eyes to be opened to the things I do that destroys my character as a young lady. One of those things was the fact that I tried so much to please people even when I knew it was wrong- which revealed my lack of trust in GOD.I would tend to please and do things for people as to not make them upset and cease confusion, but the inner voice said to STOP IT!!!!!
God has not called you nor I to please anyone but HIM. Now don't misunderstand me, we must do our best to love one another.But If I please Him first then I will automatically please everyone else in my life. I had it all confused. So here again I had to do some re-programming in my mind just like a computer and add some new software that would kick out this stranger called LOW SELF ESTEEM. As long as we are living on this earth we cannot please everyone, especially if we are followers of CHRIST. The bible tells us that to love God we must hate evil- the way the world wants me to live. You see, the world wants you and I to stress ourselves out,get weary inside and out once we please the other party,in the end- we are unhappy by what we did. I no longer care to please people because I hurt not only myself but GOD in the end. And just think about it for a minute when I always wanted to please people, they never asked how I felt or questioned my actions- they just wanted what they wanted at the time.
After it is all said and done,these very same people forgot about me in the long run. Don't let this happen to you.

I dont know who has entered your house unannounced and has been residing there without permission. It might be poverty, lust,lies,jealousy, pain,anger, sickness or even an addiction that is taking over your life. Whatever it is find a way to get some new software(the word of God), begin to re-programme your mind on it and GET IT KICKED IMMEDIATELY. Remember things unlike God is an enemy and a stranger to you and I.
If you dont know how or where to find new software to begin re-programming your mind, you can email me at ladylorneka@gmail.com or send me a message on my blog page ladylorneka.blogspot.com and I will help you write some evictions notices to those unwanted residents in your home- which is your body!!!!

TO GET THERE, I MUST GO THROUGH FIRST

As I sit and begin to think about my recent times of being a christian, there was never a time that I could say that I did not have trials along the way. From the times of being molested,lost of loved ones,migrating to a foreign country and finding out who I really was in God were all challenging. I have encountered some bumps and some deep holes, but somehow it was not meant for me to stay on those bumps or to remain in those holes I encountered. I know that nothing great is ever accomplished without a few challenges along the way. Sometimes you probably feel the same way as I do and ask why do I have to go through the things that I do or right now? I am reminded that when I gave my life over to God, that meant everything and that he can do whatever He wants because I could't run my life any more on my own. Literally, that means that I, Lorneka, can no longer call the shots in my life and I must deny all my rights and let him to do as he pleases. To my amazement, I didn't know how or when this was going to happen, but let me tell you that its taking place at great extents.

Don't get me wrong I am not saying that God only gives me seasons of pain and trials, there have been and are now many days of spring flowers from Him. But first, He had to bring to the end of myself.Last night as I was getting ready for bed this analogy was brought to my spirit. When we become christians and confess our sins to live a new life, its like you had the key to a door, it only was able to fit when I forced it to work and that was only for a short period of time that it stayed open. From time to time I would take the key and make it work when I wanted to, but GOD is saying to let Him hold the key and let him open it when he wants to, the way he wants and how He wants to. And when the door is open there is no more forcing it and trying to turn it in such a way so it will remain open. Also when He opens it no man, woman,boy,girl or spirit can close it. Now that I have given him access and the password to my life which is JESUS- there is no more manipulation and Life is grand!!!!

The daily trials of life try to paralyze me, but they will not prosper. I am to the point in my life where I have to encourage myself constantly in order to remain strong in the Lord. Is it a fight? Yes it is, but in the end I am victorious. Let us remember that before Jesus was called to the cross he endured some disturbing things here on earth with mankind. But like Him, I don't want a few bumps and holes stop me from where I am going. So if we are like him, made in the image of our heavenly FATHER, we too, shall be persecuted, lied on, cheated on, used and abused, cursed out and even be labeled as things that we are not.Whatever those tests are, know that "everything is working out all for your good." As we speak, God is using his key to allow my family to not understand me and what I believe, he is allowing people to lie on me and to not defend myself, my finances to go throught a tight period and for tasks on my job to become complex to see what I will do. In doing so, he is waiting to see if I will quit or believe his word for my life or to walk in the fact that HE told me he would never give me more than I can bear.I already know where I want to go but he knows the right paths.

To get there, I must go through. Where is there?
-For me, there is..to become a radical woman of God, I must go through as a christian.
-There.. to minister and disciple others, I must first be discipled and mentored by someone who knows how to disciple and take correction when necessary
-To get to pharmacy school and become a pharmacist, I must go through on my job as a technician and carry out someone else's vision
-To become a wife, I must be challenged and proven in relationships with loyalty, trust,dedication and be able to submit to all my authorities NOW.
-To get to the place where the opinions of men don't matter, he first has to let people use and abuse me and see how I handle it
-To become a millionaire, he must first see how I can budget a monthly salary,decipher between needs and wants or when sacrifice is needed
-To become a leader, I must be able to first take some pressure from others(which I am experiencing now), stand up for others, get lied on, help others when it's not convenient for me and even do the word of God even when it does not make any sense.For the bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 1:27"But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;...."
So tonight, whatever God has you to go or going through now, you and I need to realize its not a hop and skip away.THERE IS A PROCESS WE MUST GO THROUGH. I live and dwell on the fact that my life is no longer mine and I must say YES to his will even when it hurts and let him take me through whatever HE wants. Don't believe as well that he will let you go through alone, there are people he has out there to assist us and if you don't have anyone, ask him and he will begin to place the right people in your life to help you, just as HE did for me.

So if you have given him the key and keep taking it back because you dont like the way things are going, give it back to him just tell right now "NEVERTHELESS, NOT MY WILL BE DONE, BUT YOUR WILL."(luke 22:42). All he wants is a yes from you and I.I have decided to say yes now what about you?

If you have questionsor need to talk, email me at ladylorneka@gmail.com

THANKSGIVING DAY

When we think of thanksgiving day we begin to envision ourselves sitting in front of the dinner table with a large turkey, family and friends from out of town and for us women out there- shopping sprees like never before. For me I didn't even want anyone near my mother because I was waiting for her to give me the right leg of the turkey, yeah that's how much i loved turkey. Not much a fan of turkey anymore.That was the old mind set of lorneka . Today I no longer wait for the 4th sunday or 25th of November 2007 to celebrate Thanksgiving day.

August 15th, 1984 a woman by the name of Lorette gave birth to a beautiful little girl. Now before this came into a reality, I must give you a background of the forces that came against this life. First of all, the pregnant mother was only 17 years old, just graduated from high school and the man she dated was twice her age. To her dismay while being away from home, she was offered a scholarship to attend any college in the U.S. of her choice to obtain her bachelors degree. Which meant that this woman had to make a choice- free education or become a young mother. After all was said and done the woman chose to have the child and turn down the scholarship. Yeah I know people told her, and maybe even you who are reading this are saying she was crazy for not taking the scholarship and have the baby. If that woman decided to take the scholarship I WOULD HAVE NOT BEEN HERE BREATHING THIS MORNING. The pressure was so intense especially from her family and loved ones that she was going to have an abortion, but something in her said NO. That something was GOD. There even came a point where the house my mom stayed caught on fire and she was sound asleep.This incident happened in two different locations. So you see there was purpose behind what happened. What the enemy meant for evil was turned around for my good.

So I stand here today to say that November is too far to wait for me to be thankful. As I celebrated my 23rd birthday on yesterday I woke up all cried out because I remembered where I came from and what my family and I had gone through to be here today. Sometimes we believe that we need to receive the big things in life to be thankful, but if we are grateful in the little things and begin to tell God how grateful we are, then He would bless us with the big things. The bible tell us in Psalms 100 that we should"enter His gates with thanksgiving and enter His courts with praise and bless His name for the Lord is good.....". This is being not only thankful for some things but in and FOR all things.
There are days when I feel that my life has taken a bad turn but on the other side, when I calm down and collect myself, I realize that my blessings are so great that I should not even complain.
I thank God for the gift of the Holy Spirit who comes to bring conviction and bring my mind subject to God's will. And His will is for me is to appreciate all I have been through. I dont have a Christmas list ,but I do have a thanksgiving list.

I am so thankful:

1. That my mother did not have an abortion and that she sacrificed her future for me
2. I no longer to go to bed with no food to eat because I now am able to work and support myself.Thankful to have people in my life who care for me
3. I live in a home with no rent and don't have to lie to the landlord because there was no way for my family to pay the rent
4. That I was only molested as a child and not RAPED
5. I have clothes and shoes in my closet ( in numbers), than the three pairs I had in the past
6. I no longer have to go to sleep with no lights and water to take a bath in
7. I dont have to borrow money to purchase my mother's medicine
8. I am not involved with a man that uses and abuses me
9. I do not have kids, even after the fact that I had premarital sex
10. My college tuition is paid for and I dont have to work 2 months in order to take 1 class
11. I have a car now to drive instead of standing on the bus stop, few months ago getting wet by cars in the pouring rain waiting for 2 hours for the next bus to come
12. I have full use of all my limbs and I am not hospitalized
13. I dont have a sexually transmitted disease or dying of AIDS
14. that GOD EXTENDED HIS GRACE AND MERCY toward me and gave me another chance at life!!!!!!!!!!!

The list could go on and on but I dont have enough space for it all.What I am trying to say here is that no matter how dim your situation may be right now, I am guaranteed that there is something that you can be grateful for right now. I may not be on drugs or having baby-daddy drama, but I do act foolish and complain about what I dont have, BUT TONIGHT I realize I have so much. So as for you I encourage you to take a few minutes or even seconds to think of one thing you are so grateful for and begin to praise God in your own way for it. It has only been in the being grateful for the little things that I am seeing many blessings reign down. Wanna see a change in your attitude and atmosphere? Then be grateful everyday for just one thing and watch God elevate you.